How Much Does a Surrogate Cost?

In the US, gestational surrogacy involves less complex legal work since both parents will have genetic ties to the unborn child.

Suddenly, more and more people are finding fewer problems with having their babies born by other women. Almost 750 children are delivered by surrogacy in America yearly.

So, how much does a surrogate cost? Without mincing words, surrogacy can be very expensive. Your cost will increase depending on the peculiarity of your situation.

In this article, we’ll be examining the financial implications of surrogacy. We’ll look at the average cost and the fees you’ll incur to have your baby by a surrogate mother.

If you are planning to outsource your childbearing duties and want to know how much it will cost, we encourage you to read this article to the very end.

Why People Turn to Surrogacy

People opt for surrogacy for various reasons. Some common ones are singleness, infertility, being in a same-sex marriage situation, health complications, and personal preferences.

Whichever way you choose to go about it, starting a family is not cheap. From hospital bills and mother care to baby essentials, you must have a solid financial foundation before you venture into the new but exciting world of parenting. 

In today’s landscape, having a baby through traditional means is the cheapest. However, recent trends and peculiar circumstances have paved the way for non-conventional childbearing routes, which unsurprisingly increases the cost of starting a family. Surrogacy is the most common alternative route people adopt, especially in America.

Surrogate Baby & Their Mom

The Average Cost of Surrogacy In 2022 

Several factors determine the average cost of surrogacy. First of all, the type of surrogacy you choose. There are two significant types of surrogacy; gestational and traditional surrogacy. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother donates an egg. Hence, she contributes her genetic material and is the child’s biological mother.

Traditional surrogacy is not a commonly adopted alternative since it involves many paperwork and legal obligations. Psychological and emotional issues pose a threat too. 

However, traditional surrogacy tends to cost less on average. 

The carrier does not contribute to the baby’s genetic makeup in gestational surrogacy. Their role is to safely carry the fetus to full term and deliver the baby to the parents.

This is a contractual agreement; the surrogate mother receives financial compensation and walks away after completing the job.

Based on the lack of emotional investments in the process by the surrogate mother, gestational surrogacy tends to be a lot more expensive. 

Second, the average cost of having a baby through a surrogate mother may also be influenced by factors like age, location of the carrier, and insurance coverage. 

In some states in America, surrogacy can cost anywhere between $100,000 to $250,000.

Furthermore, the procedure and the type of surrogacy you choose entails will have an impact on the overall cost. Traditional surrogacy may sometimes require legal fees when trying to make complete adoption and custody arrangements. 

Surrogate Mother

Cost Breakdown – Fees You Are Likely to Pay for Surrogacy

The cost of medical procedures, surrogate compensation, legal fees, agency fees, and insurance coverage are some of the likely contributors to the overall cost of surrogacy. 

In the United States, this cost would increase or decrease depending on the state you or the surrogate mother lives in. For instance, if you choose a state where surrogates are in demand, you should expect to pay higher. California, Colorado, Illinois, Maryland, and Nevada are some states with increased demand for surrogates. Some of these states may add similar fees to the cost, but the peculiarities of each case go along in determining the final price. 

In most states, the average compensation for the surrogate mother could fall anywhere between $35,000 to $45,000. Californian surrogates may command a higher fee due to increased demand.

The surrogacy process starts with sperm or egg-freezing procedures. Next is the Vitro fertilization process, also called IVF. Sometimes, families may need to repeat this procedure several times before a successful conception. These trials may add to the overall cost of surrogacy.

  • Surrogacy Arrangements 

Most surrogacy arrangements include fertility testing fees, surrogate compensation, agency fees, legal costs, pregnancy expenses, and more. In addition, the intended parents may have to pay for unforeseen occurrences and incidents. 

  • General Surrogate Fees 

The compensation for the gestational carrier (GC) varies depending on whether she is experienced or new in the surrogacy business. The cost increases in the case of multiple pregnancies. 

However, you should expect to pay between $35,000 to $45,000 as the base fee for first-time GCs in the United States. Depending on the carrier, you could make this payment once or in monthly installments of about $2500 to $3000 every month. Payment will typically begin after the first fetal heartbeat.

If you wish to choose a surrogate for a second pregnancy, you should expect the cost to go up since she’s now considered an experienced GC. An additional fee could increase the cost by as much as $5000. 

If you have an excellent working relationship with your carrier and wish to go for a third pregnancy, you may have to pay an additional $7000. These prices may fluctuate depending on the state and the peculiarities of your situation.

Furthermore, you should expect more expenses if the GC becomes pregnant with twins. If the surrogate is pregnant with triplets, additional costs could rise to as much as $10,000.

  • Cost for Medical Procedures 

The type of surrogacy you pick will determine how much you spend at this stage. Traditional IVF for traditional surrogacy tends to cost less than what you’d have in gestational IVF surrogacy. 

Traditional IVF could cost about $12,500 to $14,000. The gestational surrogacy IVF procedures could cost $20,000 (small changes in cost could come up depending on hospital policies and operational costs). However, the embryo transfer fee is not included in the base fee, and this procedure alone can add up to $1000 to the base fee.

Some complications during pregnancy may also add to the cost of the overall process. Invasive procedures, including chorionic villus sampling or fetal reduction, dilation and curettage (D&C), and cerclage, are not standard. But may add to the cost of the surrogacy procedure. 

Other medical costs could include; loss of fallopian tubes, pregnancy termination, hysterectomy (loss of uterus), C-section, ectopic pregnancy, and selective reduction. 

These complications do not occur very often, and they are incidental and unexpected occurrences that may arise, so they may not necessarily add to the cost of surrogacy.

Lastly, intended parents should prepare for costs outside of the IVF clinic. These extra costs could fall anywhere between $2500 to $5000.

  • Screening Costs

Part of the surrogacy procedure is screening the people involved. The company would have to interview the intended parents and the surrogate. Moreover, if the surrogate has a spouse, they also need to screen him. 

General screening procedures include criminal background checks, psychological screening, and medical checks. The medical screening involves the surrogate and spouse, and this varies from one case to the other.

The average cost for any of these procedures is $1000.

The medical checks involve screening the surrogate and her spouse (if any). It includes a blood screening panel to confirm the surrogate suitability for the process. The blood screening will reveal if she or her spouse carries any sexually transmitted disease (STD). Furthermore, her uterus will undergo a check as well by a RE. 

If you are using an agency, you may get refunded up to $3000 if some screenings become unnecessary. You should check in with your agency for its operational policies to know the refunds you qualify for.

  • Agency Fees

If you are new to surrogacy, the best way to venture into it is through an agency. Agencies do some of the heavy lifting for you. They help you find a compatible surrogate and offer numerous screening services to ensure both parties are emotionally, physically, and mentally ready for the entire process. Also, agencies coordinate communications and engagement between medical professionals and law officials. 

Bear in mind that you can attempt the entire surrogacy process without the help of an agency. However, they may be an excellent guide for people venturing into surrogacy. They also offer some sort of security that inexperienced intended parents may need.

If you opt to use an agency, note that you will have to pay between $15000 to $30000, according to reports by experts.

  • Legal Fees 

Though it can be stressful, legal work is a vital part of surrogacy. Attorneys develop legal surrogacy agreement documents that outline each party’s behavioral and financial obligations. For example, the legal documents may mandate the surrogate mother to avoid cigarettes and alcohol during the pregnancy. Moreover, the surrogate mother needs maternity wear for the duration of the pregnancy. Hence, the intended parents may need to reimburse her.

These lawyers will also prepare papers for legal custody of the baby and other legal surrogacy services. How much you pay for legal work depends on the arrangements. Legals free are not fixed; each law firm can charge you depending on the situation.

Based on current practice, intended parents should budget around $10,000 for legal fees. The cost could rise or fall depending on whether there’s a need for an egg donor agreement. State requirements may have an impact on the final price too.

To avoid future glitches, intended parents should employ the services of an experienced company to manage the financial agreements reached by you, the lawyers, and the surrogate. This company must be one you can trust to manage the financial aspect of the surrogacy process. To this end, we recommend that you hire the services of an escrow account manager, which may cost you an additional $1000.

  • Labor and Delivery

Childbirth in the United States, for example, can be very expensive. The cost may change if you and the surrogate live in another country with a healthcare structure like the US. According to new statistics from the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF), the average cost of delivering a baby in the United States is $18,865. This cost covers the pregnancy duration, child delivery, and postpartum care. 

However, if the surrogate mother has health insurance, the insurance company will take up a large chunk of this cost. 

The intended parents will have to pay deductibles, co-insurance, and copays. 

If the surrogate mother doesn’t have health insurance and the intended parents still want to cut costs, you can purchase a short-term or maternity-only policy. 

  • Other Expenses 

As we’ve pointed out already, the total cost of surrogacy can be influenced by the number you intend to have. Travel, hospitalization, cesarean delivery, and other unexpected occurrences may make the overall cost skyrocket. 

Also, if the surrogate mother has a day job, the intended parents may be responsible for paying adequate compensation for lost wages. Also, life insurance may be another cost you will have to cater for.

Baby Born

How Expensive Is Surrogacy Insurance?

One central question on the minds of intended parents is, how many areas does surrogacy insurance cover? Does this insurance cover surrogacy arrangements? 

Well, some insurance companies are pretty extensive and may cover surrogacy arrangements. However, some companies prefer a moderate insurance package that may cover unexpected occurrences. The total cost of surrogacy insurance could fall between $10,000 to $16,000. 

Generally, insurers cover the cost of natural childbirth. However, some companies remove it from their coverage list. You read through the insurance documents to find services the insurance company is willing to cover. 

If it is not clearly stated, there is a good chance the insurance company will cover the cost of natural childbirth since the process includes all the basics of traditional pregnancy.

Generally, the total cost generated from surrogacy arrangements will be impacted most by two factors; the cost of infertility treatment and the cost of the surrogacy pregnancy.

Frequently Asked Questions 

1. How much will surrogacy cost if I intend to employ a family member?

There is no fixed cost for this type of surrogacy arrangement. However, it is customary to expect a reduced price since you are employing someone you know personally. Also, you can hire the services of an agency to get a suitable surrogate. You won’t have to pay compensation, though you may need some legal work.

2. What will happen if the surrogate decides to keep the baby? 

In the United States, the surrogate has many rights embedded in the surrogacy contract. These rights are even more profound when she contributes to the baby’s genetic makeup. But if you follow the gestational surrogacy route, the carrier has no right to custody of the baby. She has no parental rights because she is not biologically linked to the child, even if she carried the baby to full-term pregnancy. 

3. What are the crucial questions to ask about surrogacy before I get involved? 

To lay a strong foundation for the entire process, you must ask the surrogate the right questions:

What led her to become a surrogate? Does she have a spouse? What is their best communication style before, during, and after the pregnancy? And more. 

You can also ask about their personal preferences. You can ask about their work and childcare schedule if it interests you. 

4. How long will the surrogacy process take? 

Newbies in the industry are often bothered about how long the surrogacy process would take and how it works. If everything goes according to plan, the process should take 15 to 18 months. This period includes when you submit the application and when your bundle of joy is born into the world. 

5. Which US state is the cheapest when it comes to surrogacy? 

It is challenging to pinpoint one state since surrogacy costs vary from one case to the other. Many factors can influence the overall cost of surrogacy. But if you are looking for a cheap state for surrogacy, you certainly don’t want to go to California. The state has a high rate of surrogacy successes, and hence surrogates from the state are in high demand and may cost more. 

We recommend asking for estimates from different agencies if you are considering other states. It would be in your best interest to gather as much information as possible to ensure you find an option that fits your plans.

6. Are surrogate costs subject to taxes? 

While there are favorable laws in the US, surrogacy issues remain controversial and have been a subject of debate by the IRS for many years. In practice, tax principles suggest that all surrogate medical expenses, including insurance expenses, medical expenses, agency fees, pregnancy, and surrogacy expenses, would fall under tax-deductible medical expenses. 

However, this is not fixed since surrogacy is different in every situation. There are instances where the surrogate costs are not deducted at all. This applies to intended parents, gay and straight people. 


Life is precious, and bringing a child into the world cannot be quantified using limited metrics like money. However, based on the economy and the avoidance of financial emergencies, it is wise first to ask, “how much does a surrogate cost?” before venturing into that type of business. 

As stated, you’d need about $80,000 to $200,000 to finance a surrogacy process from start to finish. If this amount fits your budget, you can start sending applications to agencies you trust. In no time, your surrogacy journey will be complete, and you can welcome your baby into the world.

Surrogate Mother Requirements

A surrogate mother does more than help others realize their dreams of parenthood. They help families experience the joy they crave through their immense sacrifice. Being a surrogate mother costs a lot. It involves time, energy, commitment, and other health concerns.

But imagine the feeling you get, knowing that you helped others have a baby. Usually, it would be a baby they otherwise would be unable to have. Unfortunately, not everyone who wants to become a surrogate mother can experience the joy of surrogacy. You must meet some requirements to qualify as a gestational carrier. It is a journey only for people with all it takes to see it through.

If you want to know what it takes to become a gestational carrier, we have identified the requirements here.

Criteria for Surrogate Mothers

There are different stages of the gestational surrogate requirements. Each qualification tests for a different set of criteria. The screening stages in the surrogacy process ensure that surrogate mothers are fully aware and prepared for the journey. It also ensures that only the right people take on the task to avoid disappointing outcomes.

The criteria include basic qualifications, psychosocial requirements, medical screening, and legal requirements.

  • Basic Qualification

Gestational surrogates in the U.S. must be at least 21 years old and not older than 45 years. However, some situations permit surrogates older than 45. Also, surrogates must have, at least, a child of their own after a successful pregnancy term. Additionally, there must be proof they have not experienced any complications during their previous pregnancies. The maximum number of deliveries an intending surrogate should have had is five. But surrogates should not have had more than three births via cesarean section.

Aspiring gestational surrogates must not have taken anti-depressants for at least 12 months. They must also be off anti-anxiety drugs and other related medications. Furthermore, there should be no new tattoos and piercings on any part of their body within the last 12 months.

Surrogate Mother
  • Psychosocial Requirements

Psychosocial requirements involve counseling and evaluation to test your preparedness for the task ahead. They measure your physical and mental readiness to become a gestational surrogate and see the program through to the end.

One of the considerations in the psychosocial requirements is how surrogacy affects your family and community. Surrogates must have a stable family. Furthermore, the family must be able and willing to support the cause. The family must also be in a friendly environment that will support the gestational carrier throughout the surrogate pregnancy.

Surrogacy could take up your time for up to a year or more. Therefore, it requires a lot of commitment. So surrogates must prove their readiness to attend medical appointments. They must also be available to meet with the intending parents when required. Furthermore, the extra stress involved in everyday routines requires an emotionally strong person to surpass.

In addition, hormonal changes and emotional stressors will set in during surrogacy. Therefore, it is important to go through emotional counseling to better prepare you for the task ahead. A professional surrogacy counselor will help you prepare for the expected challenges, raising your chance of success during the program.

  • Screening and Testing

At this stage, a surrogate will provide medical records and results that prove they are free of certain diseases and infections. These include HIV and STIs like genital ulcerative lesions, herpes simplex, chancroid, and urethral discharge. There must also be no traces of syphilis. A person with these diseases and other infections may transfer them to the fetus.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine and the Practice Committee for the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology recommend testing an intending surrogate within 30 days before the embryo transfer. The intending parents must also undergo the same tests to ensure they are free of infectious diseases.

Furthermore, the screening looks for evidence of drug use in the intended gestational carrier. It also looks for needle tracks that may be evidence of drug use. Recent piercings and tattoos without evidence of sterile techniques can lead to disqualification.

The surrogate mother will undergo tests for other conditions. These include oral thrush, smallpox, spots of Kaposi sarcoma, and lymphadenopathy. Jaundice, hepatomegaly, eczema, severely necrotic lesion, icterus, and generalized vesicular rash are also tested. 

The screening and testing require the service of a qualified professional. The professional can recommend a gestational carrier after they have satisfied all medical conditions for the program.

  • Legal Requirements

Firstly, you must note that there is no federal law on surrogacy. However, different states have various laws guiding the program. For instance, intending parents may still have to apply for adoption before getting the baby in some states. Some states would only require a declaration of parentage for the delivery. 

Furthermore, some states do not permit compensated surrogacy. In such states, gestational carriers would only do so for altruistic reasons. So it would be best to familiarize yourself with the state laws on surrogacy before proceeding.

One important aspect of the legal requirements for surrogacy is to get a surrogacy attorney. The attorney works on all legal issues, from the mother’s needs to the parentage. The attorney also ensures that you meet your state’s legal requirements regarding surrogacy.

In addition, the lawyer must draw up a surrogacy contract with the intended parents. Such contracts should cover the gestational carrier’s needs throughout surrogacy. This will ensure that the surrogate mother is comfortable and address their preferences. After addressing the legal requirements, it is safe to proceed with the program. Meeting the legal requirements is useful in the case of a breach of the surrogacy contract. The contract can protect the surrogate mother or the intended parents according to state laws.

Surrogate Mother

Criteria for Rejection of a Gestational Carrier

A few conditions can disqualify an intending gestational carrier even if they meet other requirements. Surrogacy is no easy endeavor, and everyone involved must take every precaution to achieve the goal. Therefore, everything counts, and any situation that jeopardizes the efforts must be addressed.

A gestational carrier can face rejection for the following reasons:

  • Inability to Consent

Firstly, a gestational carrier must be able to consent to the program. Therefore, they must be in the right mind to do so. Any signs of cognitive and emotional inability to consent can lead to disqualification. Also, a mental health professional may determine someone as unfit after a psychological evaluation, even if they can consent.

  • Evidence of Coercion

Financial or emotional coercion is another possible cause of disqualification. The gestational carrier must be willing to undergo surrogacy of their own accord. Therefore, they should not have to consent under duress.

  • Lack of Altruistic Motives

A surrogate candidate will not qualify for the program if they do it mainly for personal gains. A gestational carrier should prove they are doing it for genuine love and interest. However, a surrogacy professional or lawyer may be able to eke out some benefits for the surrogacy candidates. This must be done within the legal limit according to state laws.

  • Unresolved Personality Issues

Issues like addictions, depression, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, shock, child abuse, and sexual abuse, among others, can lead to disqualification. Intending gestational carriers must have resolved such issues before qualifying for surrogacy.

  • Marital and Relationship Challenges

A surrogate mother requires a stable family. Therefore, problems with a spouse or other family challenges can affect their chance of qualifying. Also, the surrogate candidate’s spouse must be willing to give support throughout the surrogacy process. In addition, the surrogate must maintain a healthy and respectful relationship with the intended parents.

  • Lifestyle

A surrogate mother must live a healthy lifestyle to qualify for surrogacy. A person living a chaotic lifestyle will not qualify for surrogacy. Additionally, the intending gestational carrier should not have major life stressors that can affect their health and that of the child.

  • Inability to Let Go After Delivery

During the psychosocial screening, some individuals may indicate they are unwilling to let go of the child. Indications of such excessive emotional attachment after delivery can lead to disqualification.

Surrogate Mother

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can surrogate mothers have preferences for intended parents?

Surrogate mothers can have preferences and decide their criteria for intended parents. Usually, surrogacy agencies match you with your intended parents according to mutual goals and priorities. Your preferences might include race, ethnicity, personality, gender identification, and sexual orientation. You can also decide your preferred religion and relationship status. In addition, you can choose your desired location and the clinic of choice. Your preferences will determine the intended parents you match with.

2. Where can surrogacy candidates find intending parents?

You can find intending parents through various channels if you are interested in being a gestational carrier. There are agencies where surrogacy professionals can easily match you with intending parents. But if you do not want to go through a surrogacy agency, you can go independent.

As an independent surrogate, you may need to do more to find intending parents. But you can get them through personal connections, social networks, adverts, referrals, and surrogacy websites. 

You can screen the intending parents yourself as an independent surrogate mother. The flexibility and control you enjoy let you choose those you consider the best fit. However, it would help if you involved a surrogacy specialist and surrogacy attorney.

3. Which U.S. states are surrogacy-friendly? 

Surrogacy laws vary by state. Some states recognize people’s rights to surrogacy and have rules in favor of the program. Others have surrogacy as an offense or crime.

Some states that consider surrogate motherhood friendly include California, District of Columbia, Connecticut, Delaware, Nevada, Maine, New Hampshire, Oregon, Rhodes Island, and Washington D.C. On the other hand, Michigan, Louisiana, and New York are considered unfriendly for surrogacy. Although New York does not rule it out altogether, you must tread carefully to avoid legal issues.

4. How many times can a surrogate mother participate in the program?

A surrogate mother must have at least a successful birth and not have over five successful pregnancies. Therefore, you can be a surrogate for as long as possible within limits. All you need is to pass the screening each time you want to volunteer. Also, you must get the recommendations and approval of a medical professional each time you choose to bear a surrogate pregnancy.

Final Thoughts

Being a surrogate mother is a good cause, but it is not without its challenges. It takes a brave, physically strong, and emotionally ready person to choose to embark on a surrogacy journey. It equally requires a lot of commitment and sacrifice. However, not everyone willing to follow the path would qualify.

Gestational surrogate requirements are divided into various stages. These are basic qualifications, psychosocial requirements, screening and testing, and legal considerations. Each stage is not only to test you but also to counsel you for the task ahead. Among the things to consider before you can become a surrogate is how it will affect you and your family. Then you must be in the right physical and mental state to qualify for the task.

Some things that disqualify people are lifestyle choices, relationship challenges, medical issues, and the lack of support. But you can safely become a surrogate if you have all these and rightly consent to help the intended parents.

Reasons to Have a Baby

A baby is a big responsibility and changes your life forever. Therefore, you must consider many things if you’re planning to have one or more kids. The physical health and well-being of an expecting woman are paramount, but there are also emotional and financial considerations to bear. If you feel confused, here’s our list of reasons to have a baby.

Why You Should Have a Baby

1. Creating a Family Life

The family is the fundamental social institution from which all others develop. Every civilization is built on the foundation of its families. Family values are indicative of societal norms. When there isn’t enough love or problems in the family, the troubles spread to the larger community. The family you were born into is the family you have. It’s time you started your superior one. Hence, it is a chance for you to create a better reality, individuals, and life.

Those raised in a happy, secure household with their parents’ support put a premium on having a happy, secure family of their own with their significant others.

2. Fulfilling the Innate Longing for Motherhood

Bringing your own children into the world is the most satisfying thing someone can do. Making a human being out of love is an even greater feat. It’s an amazing experience made even better when shaping your newborn into somebody you and your partner can be proud to call a friend. That shaping of a small person may offer more pleasure and contentment than anything else, especially when your career is useless, your life is routine, and your relationship is stagnant.

Certain occupations are predestined for certain people, and for others, raising a family is that calling. These individuals think they have what it takes to be effective parents and that they can help their kids grow up to be successful, healthy, and happy.

Having a child might limit your ability to do things like go out with friends, sleep in late, or play hooky from work, but the reward of being a part of someone’s life is far greater than the sacrifices involved in getting there. What could be more rewarding than seeing a new tiny person grow and develop into someone who could one day do something to change the world we all live in? And it is the noblest and most generous motive to have a family. 

Dad & Son

3. A Baby Will Brighten Your Life

Researchers probed further after a few studies sounded financial warning bells. Many studies, including one that surveyed one million Europeans, have verified what most people know to be true: having children reduces stress and increases happiness.

4. Adoption Is Expensive

Some people are reluctant to have families because they have heard horror stories about the rising costs of healthcare and higher education.

It’s not the kids. This is just the price of having children. After learning that it may cost up to $200,000 to raise a kid for the first 18 years of their life, many argue that they cannot afford to have children. 

Moreover, adopting a child costs more and might cost you up to $40,000 with no guarantee of having the child. Therefore, while it’s a very valid and wonderful option, adopting might cost you more than you are willing to spend. So if you want to experience the joys of parenthood, think of having a baby yourself.

5. Multiply Your Happiness 

Some individuals find it repulsive to be around infants and toddlers, while others find bringing kids into the world and seeing them grow into adults quite appealing. Plato said that having children will provide you with eternal life. Pope Francis echoed this sentiment, saying that life rejuvenates and gets vitality as it multiplies: it is enriched, not impoverished.

What would you choose if you had to choose between a hospital or a nursing home?

About 20% of those who succumbed to the pandemic did so in nursing homes; if you’re considering going it alone to save money, consider how much more you’ll have to pay for medical care and nursing towards the end of your life if you don’t have any relatives nearby.

6. Children Can Provide a Sense of Direction and Accomplishment

The most important things we do, the deeds that give our lives meaning, are the gifts we offer to others, much as research shows you’re more likely to go to the gym if you know your buddy is expecting you to attend. Being a parent alters your perspective on life and gives your existence more significance, but having a kid is a profound experience that may change your perspective in profound ways.

Research conducted by the St. Louis Federal Reserve discovered a positive association between big family size and economic performance. Having children provides a strong motivation to work and accomplish more in life. Children are a source of optimism and inspiration; they remind us that we are all part of a greater whole.

We can’t tell you how often we’ve seen a person get it together and completely reinvent themselves after becoming a parent. Culture is the “cult of what we worship,” which implies that whatever is most important to a people becomes their priority. We have seen some new moms place their children at the center of their lives, despite the risks that this brings. But the responsibility of having a kid makes you reevaluate your goals and your life’s mission, making you a better person.


7. Your Baby May Become a Hero

Perhaps you’re afraid to have a little person, but what if they, or their kid, are the ones to solve the world’s problems?

Everyone who has made a difference, including you, started as a baby. What if the baby you make today changes the world for someone else, or what if the baby you make after that solves the world’s biggest problems?

8. Keeping the Family Traditions Alive

Many would-be parents hope to continue the legacy of their own parents by having their children share their last names with them. This is, of course, most commonly the case with the father’s family name, but the point stands: many people take pride in the idea that their child will carry on the family’s long-standing tradition. Many individuals experience an intense urge to have and raise children because of the biological imperative and drive to reproduce and pass on one’s genes to the next generation.

9. To Experience Unconditional Love 

Some people are driven by a desire to experience and share the intense feelings that come from the special link that forms between parents and their children. 

In the same way that you can’t choose your children, they can’t pick you as their parents but will always know that you are there for them. It is always nice to belong and identify with someone who will not quickly get rid of you.

10. To Give Form and Shape to a Life

Many want the opportunity to bring a kid they can love and nurture themselves into the world. This prospect may be especially tempting to couples, who will have the chance to shape their offspring’s personality and instill their own core beliefs in their current life.

Little Baby

11. To Correct Their Parents’ Mistakes

Unfortunately, not everyone has the chance to grow up in a loving, supportive family. Many individuals who have decent parents learned from their errors as children and vowed to do better when they became parents themselves.

The assumption that couples will eventually settle down and have families is deeply rooted in our culture and has been since the beginning of time. People often feel they must conform to the norm and have children to validate their identity and that of their parents.

12. Embark on an Uncharted Course

If your relationship is strong, and you know that the two of you can tackle parenting challenges together – from nursing to having the sex talk, then having a baby is the next step.

You’re probably tired of being everyone’s favorite aunt or uncle and ready to start raising children. You know your heart will ache a little every time your nieces and nephews leave your house and get in their parents’ vehicle.

You and your partner have a great relationship, but you’re both over 35 and worried about issues during pregnancy or delivery if you wait longer to have a family. If you’re ready and confident in your partner’s love for you, now is the time to start trying to conceive.

13. Reaching a Point of Independence

The pandemic made us more conscious of how empty loneliness can actually be. People who lived with their families had a better time navigating the isolation. 

Moreover, having the responsibility of a child will cause you to think like an adult. When your baby needs food, you won’t go whining to your best friends but have to step into action. Most people, even teenage parents, start thinking long term once the baby appears – where they’ll live, what job to take and how best to plan their money. Besides, they are also more decisive since someone else is affected by their choices. So, having a baby zaps you into full adult mode and independence. 

14. Embrace One’s Fate

You may not have wanted to become pregnant, but now that you are, you and your new husband are overjoyed at the prospect of parenthood for any of the above reasons.

In other words, you are responsible for that tiny person.

Your tiny bundle of joy is developing language skills, getting into mischief after a bath, and sneaking into bed with you in the morning because they look exactly like you. They are your creation. You’re responsible for making living things possible. We have no words to adequately express how fantastic it is.

Mother & Son

15. They Will Be Your Best Friend

It’s an honor to play a pivotal role in someone else’s life. There will be instances when you just don’t get it. They will still adore you even if you rant, weep, and make plenty of blunders. In other words, they’ll always be looking for your company. You are their mother. No one can ever fill the place in their hearts that you hold. When they are hurt, they will cry for you.

16. They Will Make You Stretch Your Capabilities

Need to prepare supper, change a diaper, pack for Sunday, clean the vehicle, and locate a misplaced teddy? Easy. You never believed you could go through a day without getting eight hours of sleep? Simply wait. 

It’s amazing what your mind and body can do when you have kids. Before babies, you thought you wanted more hours in the day to get everything done. After having a baby, you’ll know how best to divide your time and attention. It will change your priorities, and once those parental-instincts kick in, you will do things you never thought you would, like argue with police officers.

17. You Will Experience the Miracle of Birth

Without having experienced giving birth, you might be missing out. Regardless of the method you choose for giving birth, the emotional and physical hurdles you will encounter are immense. Looking back on the experience and saying, “I did that,” will give you a feeling of pride and accomplishment. All of a sudden, your heart is bursting with love.

It’s impossible to describe this love unless you experience it yourself. Once you do, all the jokes about poop, crying, and lack of rest will be funny because you’ll know that those tidbits pale in comparison to your love for your child.

17. A Chance to Correct Your Mistakes

Naturally, as we age, we encounter constraints that we would not have encountered when we were younger. Our physical bodies decline with age, our jobs’ demands, our families’ budgets, our commutes, our housing and transportation costs, and our emotional resources constrain our lives. There’s a certain “I’m not sure I’m up for that” sentiment that creeps into our lexicon once we turn 30. For this reason, we are less likely to take the kinds of chances we did when we were younger.

But after we have children, we might choose a different path, one in which we don’t necessarily take risks for ourselves but rather urge our offspring to do so. If we have a few offspring who are clones of ourselves, we may encourage them to take risks and experience the joys in life that we wish we could but can’t because of our insecurities, lack of self-assurance, and unwillingness to simply take the jump. We make do by experiencing life vicariously through their eyes. It may be nearly as wonderful as doing it ourselves. This is true given the intimacy we naturally relate to our children. That makes perfect sense; we have no problem accepting that as a valid justification.

Family With Baby

More Reasons to Have a Baby

  • The term Mommy or Daddy just has the most endearing ring to it.
  • Kids may say “I love you” a thousand times a day.
  • Playing with a kid is far more physically and emotionally beneficial than going to a club.
  • You can have great baby photos to post online.
  • They strengthen the marriage by giving shared reasons for couples to fight for.
  • Having a kid can boost your confidence immensely.
  • Having a kid means having hope for the future
  • You will never be alone, even in old age
  • You will be eligible to celebrate Mother’s day and Father’s day
  • Babies are a blessing from God
  • Because a child’s eyes are so pure and innocent.
  • The reason is that the sound of a baby’s laughter is more endearing than any classical music.
  • Simply said, pregnant women radiate beauty from the inside out, and this effect only becomes stronger as time passes.
  • You may go back to reading fairy tales
  • Seeing a baby giggle triggers the production of endorphins in the mother.
  • Newborns have the most pleasant aroma.
  • You have an excuse to tap into your childhood pleasures, like building sand castles and coloring outside the line
  • You can teach a kid to think for themselves
  • You can have someone else to spoil, teaching you compassion and generosity
  • Having a child renews your faith in humanity and strengthens your will to face the world.

Pregnancy Preparation from a Medical Perspective

  • A woman may better prepare her body for pregnancy by eating healthily and exercising regularly.
  • Maintain a healthy balance.
  • Please give up smoking if you are currently a smoker.
  • Vitamin D, Folate, and Calcium supplements should be taken.
  • Factor in any underlying medical issues such as obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid illness, depression, inflammatory bowel disease, and heart disease. Discuss your intentions for pregnancy with your doctor since you may need to avoid certain drugs during pregnancy. It is crucial to take care of these issues and ensure they don’t resurface when pregnant.
  • If you’re expecting, talk to your doctor or an obstetrician about your prescription options. Taking as few drugs as possible to manage a chronic condition is preferable before becoming pregnant.
  • Congenital malformations and genetic illnesses, such as cardiac, neurological, renal, musculoskeletal, and blood issues, should be discussed with your healthcare professional.
Mom With Baby

Children’s Financial Needs in the Context of Family Planning

  • Housing, clothes, food, medical care, transportation, daycare, schooling, and other miscellaneous costs all rank among the highest of a family’s priorities when planning for a new kid.
  • To get a good idea of how much money you’ll need to raise a kid from birth to age 17, check out the US Department of Agriculture’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion.
  • Remember that the total yearly increases as the kid grows older.
  • Costs such as prenatal care, college tuition, life insurance policies with a beneficiary who is the kid, money spent by the government, and money contributed by relatives who are not the child’s parents are not included in the USDA CAPP’s total cost calculation.


Some may say that a single individual can’t make a meaningful difference in the world, but that’s not true. There have always been heroes in history who dared to go their way and make their mark on the world. Becoming a parent allows you to give life to such a hero and leave your mark on the world.

For the most part, it pays well to wait until the conditions are optimal before making a move. Never underestimate the importance of giving your whole attention to your parenting duties. 

However, everyone is aware of their limitations and must be comfortable making a choice that impacts more than oneself. There are at least three people whose lives will be changed by this choice. However, this choice may also lead to many positive outcomes that improve quality of life. Do not put off the start of your joyful trip till some unknowable moment in the future; start right now.

Types of Surrogacy

Surrogacy is becoming a popular option for people who wish to have children or start a family. Since the first successful surrogacy in the 1980s, so much has changed regarding the surrogacy process. Technological and medical advancements have made surrogacy safer and more efficient. Moreover, laws concerning the practice have become less ambiguous in many places.

There are no federal laws concerning surrogacy in the US; however, some states have laws to guide surrogacy. Thus, surrogacy is legal in some states and regulated or outrightly banned in other states. If you are considering taking the surrogacy route in your fertility journey, it is vital that you know the options available to you. 

There are basically two types of surrogacy, depending on the fertilization method or the child’s biological relations. However, there are a few other types of surrogacy based on factors like compensation and surrogate acquisition.

Gestational and Traditional Surrogacy

There are two categories of surrogacy – gestational and traditional. These refer to the formation of the embryo and its biological relations to the surrogate mother.

What Is Traditional Surrogacy?

Traditional surrogacy involves fertilizing the surrogate’s eggs with sperm from a sperm donor or intending father. In this type of surrogacy, the surrogate mother is also the child’s biological mother. Her eggs are fertilized by sperm from the intending father or donor.

This kind of surrogacy is often called straight surrogacy, as the surrogate is also the “egg donor”. In the case of traditional surrogacy, a surrogate woman agrees to be artificially inseminated with semen from a sperm donor or the intending father of the child. The traditional surrogate then carries the conceived child full term till she delivers and signs off her parental rights to the intending parents of the child.

In a traditional surrogacy arrangement, the surrogate is the child’s biological parent, and the intending parents might not be biologically related to the child (if they use a sperm donor). Because the surrogate is a biological parent of the child, the intending parents might have to undergo an adoption process before claiming the parenthood of the child. Also, this biological relation could cause unforeseen issues like an emotional attachment forming between mother and child and the mother refusing to sign off her parental rights. 

Although traditional surrogacy was the only available option in the earlier years of the practice, medical advancements and legal and emotional complications have caused this surrogacy type to be almost extinct. Due to modern innovations and the possibility of fewer legal complications, gestational surrogacy has become a more viable alternative. 

Surrogate Mother

What Is Gestational Surrogacy?

This type of surrogacy involves a gestational surrogate carrying a child to which she has no biological relations. This kind of surrogacy simply involves the surrogate carrying a child on behalf of the intending parents without her own eggs involved. 

In gestational surrogacy, there are several options as to who the child’s biological parents can be. For example, the gestational carrier can carry an embryo formed by the sperm of the intending father and the egg from the intending mother. This can be done through in-vitro fertilization, where the embryo is transferred to the surrogate’s uterus. Also, the embryo can result from intending mother’s egg and a sperm donor or an intending father’s semen and an egg donor. 

In this case, the surrogate mother, also known as the surrogate carrier, is called the birth mother. It is now the most widely practiced form of surrogacy in the US. 

Compensated and Altruistic Surrogacy

Surrogacy can also be categorized based on whether or not compensation is made to the surrogate mother. 

Altruistic Surrogacy 

An altruistic surrogacy refers to a situation where intending parents do not compensate their surrogate financially for carrying their child. In an altruistic surrogacy, the intending parents typically cover the cost of living and the medical care of their child’s surrogate. There’s no extra payment for their surrogate services. 

This type of surrogacy is usually a case of identified surrogacy. Most times, a member of the intending parent’s family becomes the surrogate. A close relative or friend of a couple can decide to offer their body to carry a child for their loved ones who cannot conceive or carry a child to term. 

An altruistic surrogacy can be traditional or gestational. However, to avoid issues such as inbreeding complications, it’s best to go for gestational surrogacy so the birth mother has no genetic ties to the child. This is the only legal kind of surrogacy in some countries like Australia. 

Commercial/Compensated Surrogacy 

As the name suggests, this surrogacy arrangement involves compensating the surrogate mother, usually financially. This is the more common type of surrogacy in the US, but it is outlawed in some states. 

Surrogacy professionals would often suggest commercial surrogacy for intending parents regardless of whether they know the surrogate. The financial compensation might help keep the surrogate from developing feelings of regret during the pregnancy. It also helps the intending parents from feeling indebted to the surrogate. 

Surrogate Mother

Agency and Independent Surrogacy

The surrogacy process entails a lot of legal and medical aspects. Therefore, intending parents must decide whether or not to use a professional surrogacy agency. 

Agency Surrogacy 

In states where surrogacy is legal, you can find surrogacy services or agencies to help facilitate your surrogacy journey. These agencies take care of all the parts of the surrogacy journey, from initial screening to compensation arrangements.

This type of surrogacy is common with people who do not wish to stress about the details of their surrogacy process or have not found a surrogate yet. In this case, all the involved parties need are a surrogacy lawyer and a fertility clinic to finalize the surrogacy. 

Independent Surrogacy 

In the case of independent surrogacy, the intended parents usually already have a surrogate in mind. In this case, they might not need the services of a professional agency for mediation, compensation planning, etc. Thus, the parties involved only need their legal counsel and a fertility clinic to facilitate the surrogacy process. Due to the absence of a professional agency, the parties in an independent surrogacy will likely take up more responsibility but will save costs overall. 

Gestational Surrogacy

Some Surrogacy Terms and Definitions

In-Vitro Fertilization: This refers to the process of fertilizing an egg with semen outside of the hosts’ bodies. After IVF, the surrogate mother receives the embryo by insemination and carries the child till birth.

Sperm Donor: If a couple has fertility problems stemming from the man’s unviable semen, the surrogacy process might require semen from a sperm donor. Also, if the intended mother cannot offer eggs for fertilization, they can seek egg donors.

Surrogate: This term simply refers to the woman who carries the child of intending parents. 

Egg Retrieval: Unlike sperm, eggs take longer and require a surgical process to retrieve. 


Many couples, families, and even single individuals utilize surrogacy to fulfill their desire to have biological children. More LGBTQ couples are also exploring surrogacy options to have children in modern times. 

Knowing the types of surrogacy available is essential before beginning the process. You will make a better-informed choice more tailored to you (and your partner). The laws regarding surrogacy are evolving and, in many places, are murky at best. Thus, speaking to a surrogacy professional is essential to better understand your region’s surrogacy laws as an intended parent.

Adoption vs Surrogacy

When looking to grow your family unconventionally, you could take several viable routes. Surrogacy and adoption are the two most popular options. If you are a prospective parent, chances are you’ve considered both options. Both options lead to the same result, but the road leading to them is unique. While they share similarities, they also have differences one has to consider. There are various reasons one may decide on adoption or surrogacy. Single parents or people who cannot conceive can benefit from either option.

As mentioned earlier, the path to parenthood looks different for everyone. Each road has its distinctive experience, challenges, rewards, and advantages. None of the routes is easy, but each leads to the desired end. It is important to weigh both and decide which works best for you. 

Our Pick

You may wonder which route to take to parenthood, adoption, or surrogacy. However, deciding based on your particular situation or circumstance is best. Certain peculiar circumstances might make surrogacy your best option, while others might favor adoption. While the results are similar, the road isn’t. Potential parents must consider all options to see what suits them. However, we do not decide which is the best fit for them. Adoption and surrogacy are two rewarding options with beautiful journeys and similar results.

Understanding Adoption

In the adoption process, the birth parent(s) relinquish all legal rights to a child to the adoptive parents. A concept that has existed for centuries, adoption allows a child to retain full genetic links to his or her birth family. However, they become full and legal members of the adoptive family. Adoption has been the most popular option for couples who cannot conceive or single people longing to start a family.

A mother can decide to give up her child for adoption for various reasons. An unexpected pregnancy or inability to care for the child are the most common reasons. A court can also revoke a birth parent’s parental right due to abuse, neglect, or lack of a conducive environment.

Adoption can be domestic, where the adoptive and birth parents are in the same country. It can also be international, where adoptive parents get a child from another country. Additionally, adoption can happen through the foster care route. In the foster care case, the court must terminate the birth parent’s rights voluntarily or involuntarily. Adoption can also be done through an adoption agency or independently.

Statistics show that Americans adopt over 135,000 children every year. Many of these children are from the foster care system, a different ethnicity, or with same-sex couples. The process allows for either an open or closed adoption. Open adoption is more ethical as it provides contact between the child and the birth parent(s). The adoptive parents can decide the level of communication, from the exchange of letters to phone calls or in-person meet-ups. Reach out to an adoption professional if you want to determine if it is right for you.

Understanding Surrogacy

Surrogate Mother

The concept of surrogacy has grown and evolved through the years. Recently, technological advancements have made it easier to go through the process with a higher level of certainty. People who cannot conceive for biological reasons and want to maintain a genetic connection to their child commonly consider surrogacy.

Surrogacy is when another woman carries a child for someone who will be the child’s birth parents. The woman who agrees to have the child to term is called a surrogate, while the parents are called the “intended parents.”

This process is also called gestational surrogacy. The surrogate mother is typically not related to the child but becomes pregnant through an embryo transfer. The embryo contains one or both of the intended parent’s genetic material, thus making the baby biologically theirs. Having this biological connection makes the surrogacy and legal processes easier. In addition, it tends to give the intended parents more control and certainty about the process. Many see gestational surrogacy as more ethical, as opposed to traditional surrogacy.

In surrogacy, the matching process is a mutual one. Intended parents can choose from a profile the woman they want to carry their baby. Furthermore, they meet with the person, establish bonds, and determine if they are comfortable with their choice. You can plan parenthood through surrogacy either independently or through an agency. 

Similarities Between Adoption and Surrogacy

Adoption and surrogacy are popular routes people take to parenthood. Looking at their similarities may help some people make the right decision.

  • Ethical Pathways to Parenthood

Adoption and surrogacy are both ethical routes to having a baby. Both options follow due legal processes that ensure that every party is protected at every step. With adoption, the birth mother is given time to make a final decision postnatally. Similarly, in surrogacy, the intended parents and the surrogate sign a mutual agreement before proceeding. In addition, many agencies promote open adoption, where the birth parent(s) can maintain contact with the child. Also, in surrogacy, both parties can decide mutually whether the surrogate can have further contact with the child.

  • Age-Long Practices

Surrogacy and adoption are practices that date back to the 1900s. Many people date surrogacy back to the Bible days. However, in 1985, the first case of gestational surrogacy set a precedent for modern surrogacy laws. Similarly,  adoption has been part of human history. It was not uncommon for parents to send their children to another family that could take better care of them. Through the years, however, the stigma of adoption wanes as adoption laws crop up. Modern adoption laws protect the adoptive parents and the adoptee, which didn’t happen before 1951.

Surrogate Mother

Differences Between Adoption and Surrogacy

Though both processes are similar, they also have distinguishing features that typically form the basis of one’s choice.

  • Genetics

Many prospective parents consider this one of the most important factors when deciding. Gestational surrogacy is an excellent option if you feel strongly about having biological and genetic ties to your child. Surrogacy involves IVF, which requires one or both of the intended parent’s genetic materials. In other cases, it could involve a donor’s genetic material. Either way, the surrogate has no biological ties to the unborn baby. Due to this, gestational surrogacy has become popular for those who want a biological connection to their child. In addition, when one of the parents has a genetic link to the child, the legal processes become smoother.

Conversely, in adoption, the child will share traits with their birth family. This is not ideal for many who want that genetic connection with their child. The bond between the biological mother and child can cause hitches during adoption. Firstly, precedence is always given to the biological mother, except in cases where a court revokes her rights. Thus, the biological mother has a right to change her mind after birth and keep her child. This often disappoints many intended parents as the court will likely  favor the biological mother in a dispute.

  • Matching Process

The matching process of both surrogacy and adoption differ significantly in many cases. In surrogacy, the matching process is a mutual one. The potential surrogate and the intended parents must complete a profile shared with surrogates matching their requirements. In turn, the surrogates also get to decide if they are comfortable with the profile of the intended parents. A meeting is set up if all goes well, and both parties can study one another. Both parties must then agree to the terms of surrogacy before making any further moves.

On the other hand, the matching process in many adoption cases is rather one-sided. The potential adoptive parents have to specify any preferences such as age, race, medical history, post-placement contact, and others. Ultimately, the birth mother makes the final decision without much input from the potential adoptive parents. Due to the matching process, adoptive parents tend to wait much longer to find a match. However, the wait time for surrogacy is much shorter as the agreement is mutual.

  • Cost Implications

The cost of surrogacy is significantly higher than adoption due to specific fees peculiar to the process. Surrogacy involves a third party, the surrogate, for which the intended parents must compensate. The embryo transfer process can also be costlier than couples using their sperm and egg. In addition, if the surrogate has to do multiple rounds of IVF, you can expect the surrogacy cost to get higher. Other additional surrogacy costs may include a monthly allowance, childcare costs, travel fees, lost wages due to complications, and maternity clothes.

A surrogate typically receives between $30,000 – $60,000 as a base compensation fee. In total, surrogacy costs can run up to $100,000. Sometimes, undergoing an independent surrogacy journey can lower these costs slightly. However, a surrogacy agency can make the process easier. In addition, if a couple donates their egg and sperm, they may get tax coverage for those medical expenses.

Adoption costs vary according to the type of adoption; domestic, international, or foster care adoption. The law prevents birth mothers from receiving monetary compensation; thus, adoption fees are lower. Typically, domestic adoption through an agency costs $20,000 – $30,000, while international costs $25,000 – $50,000. Agency fees, travel costs, background checks, and medical and legal fees comprise most of the expenses. In contrast, adoption through the foster care system may cost hundreds of dollars. Usually, that cost should cover some legal fees and home study. Adoption may also qualify you for tax credit during the process.

  • Legal Process

In gestational surrogacy, the intended parents and surrogate must sign the contract that guides the process early. Since the surrogate has no genetic link to the baby, she has no right to the baby after it is born. All obligations must be fully understood and the contract signed before the process begins. Thus, the intended parents can become legal parents before the child’s birth. This is unlike adoption, where the birth mother only relinquishes her rights after the child is born. Thus, the prospective birth mother has a right to change her mind and keep the baby.

  • Prenatal Care and Screening

In surrogacy, prenatal care and mother screening are crucial aspects. The surrogate must go through thorough screening before and during the process. Prenatal care during that time is top-notch and compulsory. The surrogate is limited to certain activities to ensure her and the baby’s safety. The surrogate usually keeps the intended parents in the loop concerning her doctor’s visits. The intended parents may also be present for her checks and delivery.

Prenatal care and screening are not so thorough in adoption. Sometimes, birth mothers do not disclose their drug history for fear of scaring off potential adoptive parents. The law does not require the birth mother to receive prenatal care, although she should reveal if she’s received any. In addition, birth mothers rarely give screening details to potential adoptive parents, nor are they present for the delivery.

  • Medical Process

The medical process in surrogacy is more extensive than in adoption. The surrogacy journey involves a planned pregnancy, while adoption is typically unplanned. The medical process in surrogacy is complex and extensive. Typically, it consists of an egg retrieval process from the intended mother and an embryo transfer process to the surrogate.

Man With Baby

Final Thoughts

When choosing to start a family through adoption or surrogacy, there is a lot to consider. Every family has a different or unique situation that favors either option. Weigh the pros and cons and let that be a yardstick to making a decision. Ultimately, either choice leads you to a happy family.

Surrogacy is a journey that suits hopeful parents who want genetic ties to their children. The surrogacy process, though costlier, has a lesser matching time. This is because the agreement is mutual, and every step of the process is planned. Furthermore, contracts and laws protect the surrogacy agreement from the onset. Conversely, adoption is a fine option if you’re not particular about bearing genetic ties to your child. It is less expensive but rewarding. Although adoptive parents have less control over the process, it is still a common choice for many. Ultimately, this guide educates you on choosing surrogacy or adoption, but the final decision remains up to you.

How to Find a Surrogate Mother?

Do you long for children but dread the thought of giving birth? Who says you must deliver babies yourself? Nowadays, surrogate mothers go a long way in helping couples achieve their dreams of having biological children without stressing about their carrier.

Is surrogacy as simple and efficient as it sounds? Of course! Suitable surrogate mothers from proper backgrounds will help carry your baby to term. There are several reasons why some people prefer to use the surrogacy process.

Also, surrogacy agencies make this process easier through their various roles. Our article will walk you through the surrogacy process and how you can find a surrogate mother for your children.

What Is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is an arrangement between two parties (often backed by legal contracts) where a surrogate agrees to labor and delivers a child/children for another party (usually a couple). Ultimately, the children belong to the couple(intended parents) and not the individual that delivered them. Hence, the surrogate mother loses all rights to the baby upon delivery.

Most intended parents seek surrogate mothers to bear their children when it becomes medically impossible for them to do it themselves. When there are high risks associated with pregnancy and delivery, it is more advisable to have another person (a surrogate mother) carry children for a couple. Also, intended male parents can employ a surrogate mother’s services if they wish to have a child.

A surrogate mother may or may not demand money to carry the baby in her womb. The arrangement depends on whether the parties come from a surrogacy agency. You must be prepared to pay for a surrogate mother if you want to use a surrogacy agency to help you find a surrogate mother.

Surrogate Mother

What Is the Cost Implication for Surrogacy?

Finding the right surrogate mother could be quite challenging. Hence, surrogacy agencies usually help with the process by sieving out and presenting the perfect options for you. The cost for a surrogate mother may vary depending on your jurisdiction. Additionally, it would help if you only considered surrogacy in countries where the process is not banned. Note that surrogacy is only legal when you do not pay for it.

Types of Surrogacy

Before going out to find a surrogate mother, you must understand the types of surrogacy. There are two broad divisions of surrogacy; gestational and traditional surrogacy.

1.Traditional Surrogacy

Traditional surrogacy is also called natural, partial or straight surrogacy. Interestingly, traditional surrogacy involves fertilizing a surrogate mother’s egg with the intended donor’s sperm. Also, the donor can either inseminate the surrogate via natural insemination (sex) or artificial insemination.

Some people carry out their insemination without involving a physician or doctor. While traditional surrogacy does not have many processes, you must apply for rights to the child as the intended parents. Since the surrogate mother bore the child, they have all the rights to the baby. You must file for legal parental rights to fully access the child. Many fertility clinics with surrogacy services usually help intended parents through the surrogacy process to gain full legal rights to the baby.

2. Gestational Surrogacy

Unlike traditional surrogacy, this process involves an embryo transfer to a surrogate mother. The embryo comes from in vitro fertilization (IVF) technology. In this process, the embryo is implanted in the gestational carrier, who then carries the child to term and gives birth.

There are many forms of gestational surrogacy. However, one thing you must take from each form is that the resultant baby does not bear any genetic resemblance to the surrogate mother. In the first form, the embryo comes from the intended parent (male) sperm, and egg (female). Alternatively, the embryo may be from the intended father’s sperm and a donor’s egg. You could also get the embryo from the intended mother’s egg and donor sperm. Another form of gestational surrogacy is when a donor embryo gets transferred to a surrogate. In such an instance, the embryo transferred to the surrogate carrier does not come from the couple. Hence, the resultant baby will not have any genetic ties with the intended parents.

Overall, gestational surrogacy is a less complicated process compared to traditional surrogacy. The former is less complex in the United States because the parents maintain genetic ties with the child and can claim ownership of the child. Thus, such parents could argue and win the full rights of their kids. Since gestational surrogacy is more straightforward, you will find that it is more commonly used in the United States than traditional surrogacy. More than 750 babies delivered yearly in the U.S. come from gestational carrier mothers.

Surrogate Baby

Who Can Use Surrogate Mothers?

The surrogacy process has become popular, and most people wonder if everyone can use surrogate mothers.  

  • People With Health Issues

You can consider surrogacy as an option if you have medically-related uterine problems. Alternatively, you can use the surrogacy process if you had previously removed your uterus via hysterectomy. You can also take on the surrogacy journey if you experience conditions that make it impossible or difficult to conceive or deliver babies. Generally, any situation that puts your life at risk if you conceive gives room for you to consider a gestational surrogate for your needs. For example, if you have severe heart disease, it would be best to consider a surrogate mother to help you carry and deliver your baby.

  • Couples With Fertility Issues

What if you’ve tried to conceive without success? That’s also a probable cause for surrogacy. Suppose you’ve tried to conceive without success, even using some high-quality assisted reproduction techniques like in vitro fertilization (IVF). In that case, it’s time for you to consider surrogacy candidates who can help you. However, must you have a health issue before considering surrogacy services? Not really. You can use surrogacy services if you want to have children with genetic ties without bearing them. A fertility clinic will help you pick the best surrogate candidate without hassles.

  • Gay Couples

Surrogacy makes it possible for gay couples to have children. All that is needed is for the sperm to get delivered via artificial insemination. A gay couple may also decide to choose an egg donor. After picking, they can fertilize the donated egg and implant the fertilized egg (embryo) in a surrogate candidate to carry until birth. Although the process may sound confusing, a surrogacy specialist makes everything easy by providing a detailed guide for the entire surrogacy process. Hence, you will not feel left out from picking surrogate profiles to screening surrogate candidates, down to signing the surrogacy contract. All you have to do is find the right fertility clinic with excellent services, and you will enjoy the remaining process.

How to Find a Surrogate Mother

Finding surrogate mothers with suitable profiles could be challenging. However, there are several ways you could employ to find the best surrogates for your children.

Always remember that surrogacy is a big deal. Hence, you must not take the surrogacy screening lightly. Find a surrogate with which you can develop an easy surrogacy relationship. You can consider these few points to help pick the best surrogate from a list of prospective surrogates.

  • Consider a Family Member

The best place to commence your search for prospective surrogates is your family members. Although employing your family member could seem controversial, especially to your belief, it is one of the best ways to conserve cost. Additionally, it is easier to bond with your family as an intended parent since you already have that family connection.

The American Society accepts certain family members for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) for surrogacy. While the body generally discourages surrogacy, it tends to accept these surrogates if they would not produce children born out of incest between closely-related family members.

Along with family members, you could consider a close friend as a prospective surrogate. Many intended parents prefer friends to family since they do not share genetic ties. However, you must be careful when choosing your surrogate to ensure they do not try to keep the child after the surrogacy process.

  • Surrogacy Agencies

A surrogacy agency is another unique place where many intended parents can find excellent surrogate profiles for matching. You will typically find about a hundred surrogacy agencies running legally in the United States. These surrogacy agencies act as the middlemen between the intended parents and their prospective surrogates. A surrogacy agency helps you to pick a suitable candidate for surrogacy. Additionally, the agency helps make arrangements and collects fees that would typically pass from the intended parents to the surrogates. In that case, surrogacy remains legal and without blemish since you did not directly give money to the surrogate. Such fees could include paying for the surrogate’s medical bills.

Surrogate Mother

How to Pick a Suitable Candidate for Surrogacy

There are currently no regulations on who can become a surrogate mother. However, picking the best surrogate for your child makes the entire process worthwhile and without stress. If you want to enjoy the surrogacy process, it is best to consider a few criteria before you decide on a particular individual.

As a general rule, hopeful intended parents must choose surrogate mothers 21 years and over. Choosing a surrogate who is less than 21 could have legal consequences. Additionally, you need to ensure the prospective candidate has a successful pregnancy history. Picking an individual who has not successfully taken in could pose issues.

The prospective surrogate’s marital status is also important. Ensure to find surrogate mothers that have not yet married if you want to enjoy a purposeful and stress-free surrogate journey. Additionally, ensure that the prospective surrogate passes their psychological evaluation and can take care of your unborn child without much emotional support. It is good to pick a surrogate that will not have issues giving up the baby after delivery.

Once you have found a compatible surrogate, contact a surrogacy attorney to draft an ironclad contract for your surrogate. Ensure the surrogate goes through your surrogate criteria, understands them, and agrees to commit to them before they sign the contract. The contract ensures that the surrogate will keep to their part of the bargain by going for prenatal care. Additionally, the agreement provides that the surrogate will hand over the baby after delivery without issues.

Things to Consider Before Starting the Surrogacy Process

You need to consider a few things as intended parents before using a surrogate for your child’s delivery. While independent surrogacy does not have many rules or legal maneuvers, it could pose a problem if the surrogate later refuses to give up the baby after childbirth. Since you did not sign any lawful contract, it could get tricky to obtain your baby from the mother. It could be more problematic if the surrogate mother shares genetic ties (if you fertilized their egg) with the baby.

Also, ensure that the surrogate mother undergoes a medical exam before you begin the process. The medical test should check to ensure the prospective candidate can have a full-term and healthy pregnancy. If you find any issues with their health, do not continue with the process. You must check for infections like HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B and C, and cytomegalovirus.

Also, check that your chosen surrogate can withstand rubella, measles, and chickenpox. It would also help to check that the doctor visually maps the uterus for potential issues. Also, your surrogate mother should have her doctor rather than use yours during the pregnancy. Be mindful that you may need to pay for surrogacy. Some surrogate mothers request money before carrying their baby. In such instances, ensure you use an agency that does not pass money directly to a surrogate, as this will render the process illegal.

Which Is Better: Traditional or Gestational Surrogacy?

Although traditional surrogacy does not have a lot of legal requirements, it is best to leverage a gestational surrogate since you can easily control the situation when things go south. Always ensure that prospective surrogates do not have an issue with gestational surrogacy before you proceed.

Is It Safe to Use Surrogacy Agencies?

Intended parents should use surrogacy agencies for the screening process. Surrogacy agencies make the surrogacy experience much more enticing and stress-free. Additionally, you can enjoy surrogacy planning and find surrogate mothers that fit your description. Although you can find surrogate mothers out on the street, you may not have the backing you would enjoy if things went south. If you use a surrogacy agency, you get the assurance of the best surrogate mothers you can find.

Conclusion: How to Find a Surrogate Mother

Finding a surrogate mother entails several things. In our article, we have outlined the best ways you can use to pick out the perfect surrogate mothers you need to enjoy your surrogacy journey.

Using a surrogacy agency when you need a surrogate mother is advisable because these agencies screen and select only credible individuals to serve as surrogates. Additionally, you will find fertility experts in these clinics. Such experts help you all the way to ensure you do not get confused while looking for a child.

Ensure to ask questions before you commit to any process. If you do not like a potential surrogate, ensure to look for another until you get the perfect surrogate carrier for your child. If you do not find the surrogate you need, consult another agency until you get an ideal fit.

Will the Baby Look Like the Surrogate Mother?

When intended parents consider a surrogate baby, one of the main questions on their minds is whether the baby will look like the surrogate mother. After all, she provides the egg the father’s sperm will fertilize. Or, the surrogate mothers will offer nutrients to the baby in case of gestational surrogates. So, it worries some parents that their child might have some physical resemblance with the surrogate.  

Well, not necessarily. The baby will usually look like the intended parent because surrogacy does not involve DNA transfer. 

However, a few factors can contribute to the surrogate mother’s transfer of DNA to the baby.

Surrogate Baby & Surrogate Mother

Factors for DNA Transfer in the Surrogacy Journey

The first factor is whether or not the intended parents are using their own eggs and sperm. If the couple contributes with its genetic formula, then the baby will look like the related intended parent. However, if the surrogate mother is also an egg donor, there are chances that the baby’s genes will have the surrogate’s characteristics.

The second factor is what type of surrogacy arrangement they have. Only traditional surrogates are more likely to resemble the baby. However, if the couple has a gestational surrogacy arrangement, then it is less likely that the baby will resemble the surrogate mother. In this case, the surrogate is only a gestational carrier providing her womb as a safe environment for the baby. Thus, you can expect the baby to look like an egg and sperm donor.

Make sure you ask all of your concerning questions regarding genetic material and the process before you give in.

What Is the Difference Between Gestational Surrogacy and Traditional Surrogacy

If you are considering surrogacy to help grow your family, you need to know the difference between gestational surrogacy and traditional surrogacy. Here is a brief overview of the two types of surrogacy to help you decide which is correct.

Gestational surrogacy, also sometimes called “host” or “full” surrogacy, involves the aid of in-vitro fertilization. The surrogate mother carries a baby conceived via IVF. The doctors use the egg and sperm from either biological parents or donors. 

One of the benefits of gestational surrogacy is that it offers parents more control over their child’s genetic makeup. Additionally, since the gestational surrogate is not biologically related to the child, there is typically less risk of legal complications.

In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother is also considered the child’s biological mother. This is typically done via artificial intrauterine insemination using the father’s sperm. The traditional surrogate uses her egg in the process, and the baby is born with traits of the intended father and woman whose egg cells were involved.

For couples having trouble getting pregnant or carrying a child to term, gestational surrogacy offers a solution. Single parents or same-sex couples who want to have a genetically related child can also use this process. While traditional surrogacy arrangements can be less expensive, gestational surrogacy offers potential parents more control over the pregnancy and the child’s genetic makeup.

What Is IVF, and How Is It Helpful in Surrogacy?

IVF is a process by which professionals fertilize an egg in the laboratory with sperm. Furthermore, they transfer the embryo to the uterus of an experienced surrogate or biological mother. Many couples can use IVF if they are having difficulty conceiving. Moreover, if women somehow surgically remove their fallopian tubes, they can use IVF to conceive. Another practical application of IVF is surrogacy.

Surrogacy is when another woman carries and delivers a baby. The surrogates do so on behalf of another person or couple. IVF is also helpful in surrogacy arrangements when the intended mother cannot hold a pregnancy herself or when the intended father’s sperm cannot fertilize the intended mother’s egg. The couple may use their eggs and sperm, or they may use donor eggs or sperm. In both situations, the surrogate mother does not share DNA with the child she is carrying.

Surrogate Baby

Does a Surrogate Mother Transfer DNA to the Baby

This question basically asks, ‘Is the surrogate mother related to the child’. The question of whether or not surrogate mothers share DNA is a complicated one. It depends on the type of surrogacy you opt for. If the baby develops through a gestational surrogate with the help of the IVF process, the surrogate does not share DNA with the baby. 

In this case, a surrogate mother is simply a carrier throughout the pregnancy and the birth mother. The parents who help fertilize the embryo are the biological parents. Hence, the surrogate mother doesn’t have any genetic connection to the baby. So while the role of the surrogate mother in the baby’s development is significant, it does not appear to impact the baby’s DNA.

However, if a surrogate conceives through traditional surrogation, she will be genetically related to the baby. The baby born as such will share DNA with the surrogate and may end up looking like her. However, this is not always the case. 

Does a Surrogate Mother Share Blood With the Baby

Epigenetics is something that people do not understand about surrogacy. Some people think the woman who carries the baby for another woman shares blood with the baby. It is a common myth that the surrogate has a blood connection to her child or shares blood.

The reality is the surrogate has no relationship with her child’s genetics and no genetic connection with the baby. The nutrients and oxygen are passed on to the baby through the placenta. The placenta acts as a barrier that inhibits blood or genetic exchange between the baby and the surrogate. 

Does Who the Child Resemble Matter?

Because a child is formed from existing cells, they will always resemble someone. That might be the intended parents, the surrogate mother, or whoever the egg and/or sperm donor was.

Sometimes, parents might see some resemblance between their child and the surrogate mother. However, if it was gestational surrogacy, that resemblance is purely coincidental. Moreover, sometimes your mind might remind you of the pregnancy and get you seeing things whenever you look at your child.

But, at the end of the day, you must ascertain whether resemblance matters. Will you be unable to love your child if they look like the surrogate mother? Does that resemblance stop you from caring for your child? Is it the worst thing in the world if your child looks like the woman who happily fulfilled your dream to become a parent? 

Of course, the child might have questions as they grow, but this will invite you to have an open and honest conversation about their conception. It doesn’t change your parental role.

Furthermore, your main focus should be a safe and healthy pregnancy. Once you hold your bundle of joy, all those questions and doubts will be replaced by an overwhelming amount of love.

Can You Say That a Surrogate Baby Is Biologically Yours

Surrogacy is a highly personal decision, and there are various reasons couples may choose to use a surrogate. For many, the decision comes down to one simple fact: they cannot have children on their own.

In these cases, if both intended parents provide egg and sperm, the child is biologically related to them. So, the biological father provides his sperm for in vitro fertilization (IVF). After fertilization, the experts implant the embryo in the surrogate’s womb. The child shares DNA with the biological father and mother but not with the surrogate mother.

While the child is not biologically related to the surrogate, she still plays an essential role in its life. In gestational surrogacies, the mother provides the child with a nurturing and healthy environment during pregnancy.

However, your DNA is used to create the child. If you believe that DNA is the only factor that determines paternity, then a surrogate baby is biologically yours. However, if you think that carrying and giving birth to a child also makes them biologically yours, then a surrogate baby would be considered yours biologically.


A surrogate baby is not biologically related to gestational surrogates. Thus, the father provides his sperm for in vitro fertilization (IVF,) which combines with the biological mother’s egg. Furthermore, the experts implant the egg in the surrogate’s womb. The child shares their DNA with the biological father but not with the surrogate mother.

However, if the surrogate offers her eggs in the process, there are chances that the baby may end up looking like her. So, if you want your child to have genetic relationships with the intended couple, you should use the advanced surrogacy method.

Whether you want a gestational or traditional surrogacy process depends on your personal choice. Both offer intended parents the opportunity to grow their families through surrogacy. Talk with your fertility specialist and surrogate agency to learn more about each type of surrogacy and decide which one is right for you and your family.

Does Insurance Cover Surrogate Parents?

Unfortunately, the question of whether or not surrogacy is covered by insurance cannot be answered categorically. To a certain extent, the terms and conditions of each insurance company’s offerings will vary. That leaves your insurance provider as the final arbiter.

Fertility treatments and surrogacy can be expensive, and many insurance carriers are unwilling to cover all the costs of such medical expenses. Based on that, you can deduce that your surrogate will likely not get the coverage. If you have doubts, speak with your insurance agent. That way, you know how your medical policy works.

What Part of Surrogacy Does Health Insurance Cover?

Woman, Man, Baby

As mentioned, not many health insurance companies cover the medical costs of surrogacy. Only a handful offer to cover the costs, from implantation and prenatal to delivery and aftercare. Most insurers only cover the maternity part of the entire surrogacy. 

Others offer to bear the cost of artificial insemination or other assisted reproductive technologies. However, they may stipulate that the surrogate must use her eggs as a condition for the policy. Even at that, only a handful of such carriers offer this policy.

Since many consider surrogate pregnancy an elective procedure, they believe the intended parents should cover the cost. In other words, it is not an emergency that requires an insurance company to cough up the entire cost. The reason primarily lies in the fact that such procedures are typically expensive.

Consequently, its elective nature triggers an exclusion. An insurance company may exclude coverage for implanting donated eggs. Another company may refuse to cover the cost of moving the embryo to the surrogate, which is a primary part of the entire procedure.

Getting Adequate Surrogacy Insurance Coverage

The best type of insurance for a surrogate covers the mother and baby. Some surrogates may require additional therapy, treatment, or counseling after giving birth. Unless you are willing to pay out of pocket, it is best to check your policy and determine how much it covers.

Also, such a policy must consider the possible health needs of the baby after birth. Not every birth is smooth, and not every baby is healthy enough to take home after a day or two. It may be too expensive to cover the hospital bills from your pocket in such a case.

Another factor to consider is the possibility of getting false insurance coverage. Some insurers may claim to cover specific areas of surrogacy, but you get a massive hospital bill at the end of the day. Sometimes, the extra costs may come unexpectedly, even after leaving the hospital. You must ensure any insurance policy you get covers every aspect, even the unforeseen ones.

Surrogate Baby

Is There Specific Insurance Coverage for Surrogates?

It is not all bad news for surrogacy regarding insurance coverage. You can find some insurance providers with specific policies covering surrogates, but you must still check their offer before signing the dotted lines. Some offer coverage for surrogate and intended parents, which is your best offer.

However, there may be a catch. An insurance provider may insist on taking out individual policies for every surrogate you use. So, to start a big family, you must use several surrogates. One policy does not cover all surrogates. In other words, you must take individual policies each time the surrogates get pregnant.

This method may be expensive because of the service fees accompanying each policy. Nevertheless, these policies usually have wide coverage. They can cover a little time before the surrogate gets pregnant, the entire pregnancy period, and a few months after delivery.

Also, you may find special luxury policies that cover many aspects and can run for almost your lifetime. Note that these types of policies are not the norm but are exceptions. So do not expect to find them on offer with every insurance company. 

A bright side is that such policies usually cover a large part of the surrogate’s medical expenses unless excluded explicitly in that particular policy. Another bright side is that some states have laws prohibiting insurance carriers from excluding certain maternity services, such as surrogacy pregnancy coverage. It is only a matter of time before more states follow suit and these laws are fine-tuned to accommodate other aspects of surrogacy.

Insurance Coverage for Surrogates: What to Consider

If you are looking for insurance coverage for a surrogate and are unsure what to consider, there are a few things to know. They may help you cover the costs or find other means of paying the medical bills.

  • Surrogate’s Insurance Policy

Your surrogate can use her health insurance policy, depending on the type and what it covers. Since it may be challenging to determine the fine details, it is best to hire an insurance expert with some experience in the fertility and healthcare industry. 

They are in the best position to determine whether or not your surrogate’s policy can cover the pregnancy period: before, during, and after. Otherwise, it may be best to look for other options.

  • Dependents

Another crucial aspect is who is covered by the insurance. Most medical surrogate policies cover only the surrogates. That means such a policy covers the baby only when it is in utero. Once the child is born, it becomes an individual apart from the surrogate and will need its insurance policy if necessary.

  • Cost

Before taking out a plan for a surrogate, it is crucial to know the surrogacy costs. The average cost of a surrogate medical insurance policy can be high, depending on the carrier and plan. 

For example, taking out an insurance policy under the Affordable Care Act (ACA) puts the cost somewhere around $11,000. If the plan is under the Surrogate Maternity Liability Insurance, the cost is significantly higher, especially if it is the surrogate’s primary coverage.

Surrogate Child With Their Mother

Other Options for Financing Surrogacy

If insurance coverage for a surrogate is not feasible or is too expensive, consider other options to finance it. We have a list of financing options to reduce how much you must pay out of pocket.

  • A Fertility Financing Loan

It is not strange news that fertility procedures are expensive. Many intending parents do not have the financial strength to cover such expenses, which may stall their hopes of getting a child. 

Consequently, financial organizations that offer loans for fertility procedures and surrogacy plans exist. They have plans and payment options that make it easy for such parents to take loans and pay them back. 

Therefore, do some research to find one or more of these organizations and see what they have to offer. This is especially helpful if you have a good and steady income source to cover the loan repayment.

  • Fundraising

Consider raising funds to cover the surrogacy period yourself instead of depending on insurance. There are several ways to do that, such as selling a valuable asset or making something unique that will sell. People are more likely to buy something they have never had before, so a handmade item may work best.

Another idea is to crowdfund or have a fundraiser online or offline. An online fundraiser may be better because you have a wider audience. The same is true for crowdfunding. Alternatively, ask people to donate to your cause, especially if the monetary donations can stand in the place of gifts during a festive period.

  • Grants

Some grants exist for the specific purpose of covering the cost of surrogacy or infertility treatments. They are non-repayable, so you do not have to worry about making a budget to accommodate the cost of paying it back. The organizations offering these grants have specific requirements that applicants must meet to qualify for the grants. 

You must complete an application, and the organization guides you on the next steps. A common denominator among these organizations is that you must provide proof of infertility to require a surrogate. 

Individual groups may also require specific requirements, such as living within chosen states or belonging to a particular religious order or affiliation. You must check for any organization with such offers and determine the eligibility requirements. Ensure you meet them before applying to stand a chance.


So does insurance cover surrogacy? There is no particular answer to this question because of the many insurance providers and varying health insurance policies. Most carriers do not offer full coverage for surrogate pregnancies. A few do not offer coverage because they consider it an elective procedure.

However, there are a few plans covering surrogates that you can take. They may be expensive, but the perks outweigh the downsides. Depending on the insurance provider, you may even find luxury options that offer full coverage many years after birth.

Another coverage option is to find the finances yourself. Consider raising funds, selling something valuable, or asking for donations from family and friends. You will also find organizations offering loans and grants for this surrogacy journey. Finally, use surrogacy agencies to find the best options for insurance coverage.

Can Two Women Have a Biological Child?

Getting pregnant and having a baby starts with a sperm cell fertilizing an egg cell. This can happen in many ways, like sexual intercourse, in vitro fertilization, and artificial insemination.

This process may be easy for heterosexual couples, provided they have no fertility issues. However, it is different for same-sex couples, especially when none are transgender.

If one partner is transgender and is yet to complete their transition, they may be able to get the other partner pregnant or carry the baby (depending on their assigned sex at birth). However, cisgender same-sex couples may have to undergo an entirely different process to have biological children.

Thankfully, the world of science has given us some unexpected miracles; same-sex couples having their own children is no exception.

How Can Lesbian Couples Have a Biological Child

People in a same-sex relationship can have children whenever they want through adoption. Adoption is an excellent option because the child gets a family and a forever home, and the couples get to raise a child. However, the adoption process is not as seamless for same-sex couples as it is for heterosexual couples.

Moreover, some same-sex couples often prefer a genetically related child, while others want the thrills and experience of carrying a pregnancy. If you fall into either of these categories, there are options you can explore:

Getting a Sperm Donor

Same-sex female couples need donor sperm to get pregnant. The downside of the process is getting a viable sperm donor. 

Same-sex female couples can get donor sperm from their fertility clinic. But, getting sperm cells from a donor involves spending money. Coupled with other fertilization and implantation costs, it may be a lot for the couple.

There is also the fear of not knowing the psychological and physical features of the donor. That’s why some lesbian couples ask friends or family members to donate sperm.

When same-sex couples find a donor that suits them, they must decide who will carry the pregnancy. The sperm donor, anonymous or not, is the child’s biological father.

In the case where one partner is transgender and hasn’t completed the transition (i.e., all male reproductive organs are still intact), they can donate the sperm, and the other partner carries the baby.


After sperm collection, fertilizing the egg is the next stage. This is when the couples must decide on who donates their egg or carries the baby.

Since there is usually no penis-vaginal intercourse in same-sex female couples’ relationships, the couple needs to fertilize the eggs through a process called artificial insemination. There are two types of artificial insemination – intracervical and intrauterine.

  1. Intracervical insemination – is when medical professionals introduce the sperm into the vagina and deposit it near the cervix. The sperm then swims into the uterus like it would in sexual intercourse.
    This procedure is not complicated; same-sex couples can buy insemination kits to inseminate themselves. Likewise, they can carry out the process in a clinic, although it is cheaper at home.
  2. Intrauterine insemination – in this process, the sperm is injected directly into the uterus. This significantly increases the chance of getting pregnant, and the process is only done in clinics.

Once insemination is done, the couples must wait to take a pregnancy test to determine the success of the fertilization. They can repeat the process as often as they need until they are pregnant.

Artificial insemination is great for same-sex couples with optimum reproductive health. Couples with fertility issues can opt for IVF.

Can Two Women Have a Biological Child?

In Vitro Fertilization – IVF

A same-sex couple with fertility issues may find IVF is the best chance of having a biologically related child. This is because fertilization takes place in the lab, after which they transfer the embryo to the uterus of the carrying partner.

The egg is harvested from one partner or the donor egg and is fertilized with the donor sperm outside the body. The partner carrying the baby will also use some medication to improve the chances of successful implantation.

Once fertilization is complete, the embryo is transferred to the uterus, where implantation occurs.

It is also possible for both partners to be involved in this process. Rather than leave the embryo to incubate in the lab, professionals can transfer to one parent for incubation.

Once it incubates, medical professionals can transfer the embryo to the parent, who will carry the pregnancy to term.

Reciprocal IVF

Lesbian couples can have varying decisions when it comes to getting pregnant. While one partner may be open to it, the other may not. They can decide whose egg they will fertilize and who will carry the baby.

IVF makes it easy; one partner can get pregnant using the other partner’s egg. This process is called reciprocal IVF because it involves both partners. A same-sex couple that opts for reciprocal IVF will also feel a more biological connection to the child since both partners can be biological parents.

The process is the same. The medical professionals harvest the eggs from one partner and fertilize them. Afterward, they transfer the resulting embryo to the other partner for implantation.

Same-sex couples also must consider the legal rights in their country or state. There are instances where the partner who donated eggs must legally adopt the child to have the same parental rights as the partner who carried the pregnancy.

In addition, the gestational carrier is the child’s biological mother in the eyes of the law. If anything happens to her before the adoption is complete, the other partner may not be the child’s biological parent.

Gestational Carrier

A gestational carrier is anyone who carries the pregnancy; it could be one of the partners or a surrogate. Both partners may opt for a surrogate if they have fertility issues.

Surrogacy is usually the final resolution after exhausting other possibilities to get pregnant. This is because there are legal issues around surrogacy that most people try to avoid. For example, the law may not regard a couple as the legal parents of their child until they go through an adoption process.

Same-sex male couples also have to go through the same process, which is more difficult since they require a surrogate. 

The Future for Same-Sex Couples

Research is ongoing to allow same-sex couples to have children without needing donated sperm or eggs. The study created mouse pups with two fathers or two mothers. Using gene expression and deleting the paternal genome, researchers created mouse pups that lived through gestation but died shortly after birth.

Scientists believe they can reciprocate this in humans eventually. They can produce sperm using a skin cell in a woman to fertilize an egg. In the same way, they can produce eggs using skin cells in a man.

Japanese scientists announced that they created human eggs in the lab. This means that science is one step closer to making same-sex couples get pregnant without needing donors.


A lesbian couple can have their own baby, and there are more options for them than before. They only need to decide who will donate eggs and get a sperm donor. If they don’t have fertility issues, they can opt for artificial insemination, and if they do, IVF is another way to go.

The legal parent of the child is the one who carries the baby. Therefore, the other partner must adopt the child to have the same rights.

If couples decide to have more than one child, they can use reciprocal IVF. That way, each partner has the chance to be the biological mother of their children. Although they will have to adopt the other children that they didn’t carry.

In the future, scientists may be able to take skin or blood cells from two same-sex parents and use gene editing to turn them to stem cells and then sex cells – egg cells and sperm cells. In vitro fertilization can be used to make an embryo that will be transferred to a surrogate.

Can You Be a Surrogate With Your Tubes Tied?

Women who do not wish to have any (more) children can decide to tie their tubes in a process called tubal ligation. On the other hand, many individuals and couples who cannot conceive or carry children naturally are exploring surrogacy.

You may want to help these couples through surrogacy. However, if you have had a tubal ligation, you might wonder if it is even possible to be a surrogate.

The answer is yes. Getting your fallopian tubes tied in no way affects your ability to carry a child in your uterus.

The procedure only prevents your eggs from getting to your uterus from your ovary, thus preventing you from conceiving naturally. This article discusses tubal ligation and how it may affect your intentions of being a surrogate.

Tubal Ligation

What Is Tubal Ligation?

Tubal ligation is the process of tying, clipping, or cutting some part of your fallopian tube to prevent pregnancy. This method of birth control is permanent and effective, with a failure rate of less than one percent.

Women who undergo tubal ligation procedures usually do so when they have decided not to have any more children. This procedure prevents eggs from reaching the uterus and keeps semen from fertilizing your eggs.

For a natural conception to happen, a woman’s eggs must have found their way from the ovaries to the uterus through the fallopian tubes. This procedure blocks the fallopian tubes, making it nearly impossible for semen to come in contact with the egg to fertilize it, thus eliminating the possibility of conception.

Tubal ligation requires you to have a medical professional perform a surgical procedure in a hospital or outpatient surgical center. Often, this surgical procedure accompanies another one, such as a cesarean section. Women often prefer this plan as it prevents them from going under the knife twice.

Before the doctor performs the procedure, the patient receives general or local anesthesia. Then, the surgeon makes a small incision under the navel to access the fallopian tubes. Afterward, the doctor might use a laparoscope or another device to access and cauterize or tie your tubes.

In some cases, the surgeon removes the tubes completely. Finally, the surgeon closes the small incision with stitches and releases you within a few hours.

Like any surgical procedure, there are some risks involved. Yet, the greatest benefit is that it results in a nearly 100% effective and permanent birth control method. Alternatively, a vasectomy on the male partner is another permanent birth control option.

Surrogacy Options After Tubal Ligation

There are two main types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. The type depends on whether or not the conception of the embryo involves the surrogate mother’s eggs.

Traditional surrogacy usually involves a donor’s sperm and the surrogate’s egg. In such a surrogacy arrangement, the surrogate mother is also the child’s biological parent. This type of surrogacy is uncommon, and if you’ve had a tubal ligation, it’s not even an option.

Gestational surrogacy, on the other hand, is a type of assisted reproductive technology that does not require the gestational carrier’s eggs. Thus, this kind of surrogacy is possible for someone who’s had a tubal ligation as it does not require the fallopian tubes in any way.

In gestational surrogacy, a team forms an embryo in a laboratory using the intended parents’ sperm and egg. The intended parents may also choose to use a sperm or egg donor. This option is a common choice for same-sex couples, for example.

Couples with fertility issues may also benefit from this option. The in-vitro fertilization process can include semen from the intended father and a donor egg or vice versa.

After the IVF process, the surrogate will have the embryo planted into her uterus. The embryo will develop into a fetus and hopefully result in a successful pregnancy. Then, depending on if it is an altruistic or commercial surrogacy, the couple will make the final compensation payments to their surrogate.

Surrogate Mother

Can I Be a Surrogate After Removing My Tubes?

The general answer to this question is yes. A person must be healthy and meet other health criteria before professionals consider them for surrogacy. Therefore, the simple fact that you had your fallopian tubes surgically removed does not qualify or disqualify you.

Removing your fallopian tubes is a surgical procedure called salpingectomy that eliminates a woman’s chances of conceiving her own child. Women typically undergo this procedure for medical reasons, such as ectopic pregnancy or cancer prevention.

Even though the procedure removes a major part of your reproductive system, it does not prevent you from carrying a child in your uterus. Therefore, you can certainly be a surrogate after tubal ligation.

There are actually several advantages to being a surrogate if you have had your tubes tied or removed. For instance, it eliminates the possibility of conceiving your own child in a parallel natural pregnancy.

Why Tubal Ligation Might Offer Some Benefits for Intending Surrogates

If surrogacy interests you, the fact that you have had your tubes tied might make you the perfect candidate. This is because someone who has gotten a tubal ligation or a salpingectomy inherently possesses certain qualities vital to being an ideal surrogate.

For example, having a tubal ligation shows that you no longer intend to get pregnant naturally. Therefore, if complications during the surrogacy process affect your future fertility, this would not be as problematic since you have already undergone a permanent birth control procedure.

Additionally, before receiving a couple’s embryo, the surrogate must take medication to heighten fertility and prepare her body for the embryo. If the surrogate is in a heterosexual relationship, they would need to refrain from sex to avoid getting pregnant during the surrogacy process.

There has been at least one recorded case where a gestational carrier became naturally pregnant while being a surrogate for another couple’s child. However, if you have had a tubal ligation or a salpingectomy, you remove the chances of conceiving during the gestational surrogacy process, and you become an ideal candidate for surrogacy.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Do I need health insurance to be a surrogate?

No, if you are going to be a gestational surrogate, you do not need health insurance. However, no health insurance plans currently cover surrogacy expenses, so even if you have insurance, it will not cover your costs.

As a surrogate, the intended parents cover all your medical bills, including pre and aftercare during your surrogacy. Sometimes, the intended parents must also provide the surrogate with supplementary health insurance and a life insurance policy.

Note that the US highly discourages someone seeking to be a surrogate solely for financial purposes. Consequently, surrogacy agencies will ensure that you are financially stable and not relying on government assistance.

2. What are some health requirements and prerequisites to be a surrogate?

Being a surrogate is no small feat. To ensure a successful surrogate pregnancy, you must meet several health requirements. These may vary slightly depending on the surrogacy agency.

Generally, you must live in a state where surrogacy is legal. You must be healthy with a BMI of 19 to 32. Additionally, you must refrain from alcohol and drug/tobacco use, including the perpetual use of medications, such as antidepressants, for mental illnesses. As such, you must be willing and available to undergo extensive medical and psychological tests. Finally, you must be raising at least one child who you delivered after a complication-free, healthy pregnancy. Similarly, you must not have a history of preeclampsia, pre-term labor, or other complications.

As mentioned, there are more factors to consider. Before becoming a surrogacy candidate, the fertility clinic will need to review your health history and screen you for sexually transmitted diseases.

3. Can I be a surrogate if I have had a C-section?

Yes, it is possible to be a surrogate even after you have had a C-section. However, multiple previous C-sections can lead to complications that might affect embryo transfer. As a result, you might not be an ideal surrogacy candidate after two or more C-sections.



As you can see, tying your tubes will not prevent you from being a surrogate. In fact, in many cases, it makes you an ideal candidate. Still, most surrogacy professionals have many more criteria when looking for perfect candidates.

Surrogacy professionals tend to prefer gestational surrogates who have no intention of having any (more) children. For this reason, those who have had a permanent birth control procedure like tubal ligation or salpingectomy are highly valued. Also, gestational carriers would have to agree to refrain from sex with their partners during the gestational surrogacy process to prevent pregnancy. Finally, candidates should consider whether they’re emotionally and physically ready to be a surrogate.

If you meet these conditions, you might be the perfect candidate. Contact a reputable agency to begin your fulfilling surrogacy journey if you desire to be a surrogate.